Fish Stories

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Fish stories brings you all sorts of jokes about our underwater friends.

From those in your goldfish bowl on the kitchen counter, to those lurking deep in the seas.

Fish stories is sure to please!

You'll find frogs, whales, octupus and even a few goldfish all flopping out with a laugh.

We're sure you'll find yourself gurgling with laughter soon!

Why couldn't Noah catch many fish while sailing on the ark?

He only had two worms!


Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station!


What's a frog's favorite soft drink?



What kind of hair does the ocean have?



Why do the rivers never go out of style?

They're always current!


What do you call a fish with no eye?



A fish went to see the doctor because he needed some surgery. The fish was worried though that he wouldn't be able to pay the doctor.

"Don't worry," said the doctor, "I'll give you a discount on my fee. I truly admire your cousin, so I'm honored to be able to help you out. After all he is an outstanding sturgeon!"


What do you get when you cross a mobster with a fish?

The Cod Father!


What happened to the two frogs that caught the same bug at the same time?

They got tonque tied!


What does an octupus wear when it's cold?

A coat of arms!


What did the croaking frog say to her friend?

I think I have a person in my throat!


What do you call a baby whale that never stops crying?

A little blubber!


Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide!


Why can't frogs get life insurance?

They're always croaking!


A tourist was fishing off the coast of Florida when his boat tipped over. The tourist could swim, but he was worried about alligators. So he clung to his topsized boat trying to figure out what to do. He spotted someone on the beach and hollered to them, "Are there any alligators around here?"

The fellow on the beach responded, "No, we haven't had any for years!"

Feeling relieved the tourist started swimming to the beach. As he got closer he yelled again to the fellow on shore. "How'd you get rid of the alligators?"

"Oh, we didn't! The sharks took care of 'em"


Why did the fish stop smoking cigarettes?

She didn't want to get hooked!


What do you call a baby whale?

A little squirt!


What do frogs order in restaurants?

French flies!


What do you do with a blue whale?

You try to cheer him up!


What was the tortoise doing on the highway?

About two miles per hour!


How do goldfish go into business?

They start on a small scale!


Little boy: Have you ever seen a fish bowl?

Dad: Yes.

Little boy: How do they get their fins in those little holes?


Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Why are fish so smart?

They spend all their time in a school!


How did the woman in the swimsuit feel after escaping from the shark?

She felt good to be in a one piece!


Why shouldn't you keep a piranha as a pet?

Because it has a fish's temper!


What did the frog say to his son who was late for school?

Hop to it!


A fisherman came in from deep sea fishing with a huge marlin. As he was taking it to the cleaning shed, another fisherman walked up with a string of a dozen minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin and said to the first fisherman, "Only caught one, eh?"


What do you call a seat for a frog?

A toad stool!


What did the diver call the doctor?

A brain sturgeon!


What's green and can jump a mile a minute?

A frog with hiccups!


Why are goldfish orange?

The water makes them rusty!


What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people!


What do you get from bad tempered sharks?

As far away as possible!


A frog was hanging out on the lily pad one day when a fairy flew by.

The fairy said to the frog, "For forty bucks, I can turn you into a handsome prince."

The frog was so impressed he gave the fairy fifty dollars.

The fairy said a few magic words and the frog changed into a tall handsome dashing prince. The frog was elated!

"I won't have any trouble finding a date for the ball now!" exclaimed the prince.

He then asked the fairy for the extra ten dollars he had given her so he could use it to rent a limo for the ball. The fairy gave him the money and was getting ready to leave when suddenly the prince turned green and shrank back down to a frog.

The frog was stunned and asked the fairy what had happened.

"Well, said the fairy, "you gave me fifty bucks and then asked for your change back!"


Won't you make us laugh?

We bet you can with your best joke ever! Go ahead, tell us your best tickler! We'd love to get a good hee haw going........

Check out these comedic submissions......

Click below to get a good chuckle with submissions from other guests to the site!

Knock knock Not rated yet
Knock knock! Who's there? Russell! Russell who? Russell me up some grub!

Fishy Not rated yet
Where do fish sleep? On water beds!

Click here to write your own.

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Farm Animal Jokes - have a mooing good time!

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